Reflection: Changes from Built Environment Analysis Draft to Final Paper

I did not receive feedback on my draft before the final paper was due, so I reached out to friends to read my draft and give me a peer review. Based on the critiques I received, I modified my draft to reach my final paper in the following ways.

  • I added a title for the article to the top of my post to make the paper more appealing to my audience.
  • I modified my introduction paragraph to provide a more clean explanation of the definition of a 95/20 ratio.
  • I provided an explanation of what “rhetoric of the built environment” means to me, in terms of my writing, in my introductory paragraph.
  • I added the heading, “Historical Impacts on Income Inequality and the Built Environment” above the first main section of my article.
  • I added the heading, “The Role of Transportation in Perpetuating Income Inequality” above the second main section of my article.
  • I added the heading, “Gentrification as a Means to Meet Growing Demand and a Cause of Growing Levels of Income Inequality” above the third main section of my article.
  • I added the heading, “Inadequate Amenities for Low-Income Families Pushed Further Away From The City” above the fourth main section of my article.
  • I added the heading, “In Conclusion” above the final main section of my article.
  • I added an explanation of what the term white flight means into the first main section of my article instead of assuming everyone in my audience would be familiar with the term.
  • I added an explanation of what the term gentrification means into the third main section of my article instead of assuming everyone in my audience would be familiar with the term.
  • I read through my writing many times and corrected spelling and grammar errors.
  • While cleaning up errors, I changed the wording in many places to make my writing more clear to understand.

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